I don’t know all the right answers, but I try my best to think of one just to stop myself from over thinking. Sometimes all we need is an answer to calm us down. Not all answers are good, but just the thought of having an answer - an idea- to all the existing questions in my head is good enough for me. 

But then, there are those nights.

Nights like this.

When no matter how hard you try, no matter how deep you think, no matter how much effort you put on it, you just can’t find any answer to the big questions in life. You just can’t figure out what’s wrong with people. You just can’t decipher the meaning behind their actions. It’s hard to deal with the mind games their playing with you. It’s just too much to handle.Too much that all you want to do is curl up in your bed and hope for everything to pass. Because that’s just how things are.They just pass.

I can’t figure this one out. I’m too exhausted, too much consumed, to even think of a rational answer. How I wish it’s over. 

Open Letter

I can talk in front of a crowd, I can make an impromptu speech, I can even answer a question spontaneously yet I will always find it difficult to talk about the way I feel about someone, especially when it comes to you. I used to be the type of person who can speak out her mind and be firm with her decisions, but when it comes to you, I always seem to falter.

Despite being open in sharing my opinion about certain issues, I will always find myself holding back whenever I’m supposed to open up about my feelings for you. I’m not usually “open” when it comes to those kind of stuff. Believe it or not, I’m a reserved person, at least when it’s about my personal relationships. I get shy whenever people ask me about how I feel so I usually avoid those kind of conversation. But then again, you have this certain hold in my life that I can’t seem to brush off. That’s when I realized how much you make me feel vulnerable. And to be honest, I never felt this vulnerable for a very long time.

Others have tried to win me over, but it’s only you who captured my heart. It’s not something I say every day, but I definitely mean it every single time. And though I am not sure of what the future may hold, I’m just thankful that I won’t be facing it alone anymore.  Thank you for giving me a new perspective. Thank you for proving me wrong when I said “all men are the same” and thank you for staying despite my deliberate actions to drive you away. It’s not easy dealing with a person who is as unpredictable and unstable as me, and yet you’ve been very understanding. And that’s one of the things that make me certain that you’re someone worth keeping.

I won’t be counting the days, i’ll just make each one count. Because I think I finally got it right this time around. 


To be honest, I already forgot the last time I felt this happy with someone. And just when I thought something good is really happening around me, it was quickly overshadowed by some problems with other people. Why do I feel like the whole world is constantly conspiring for me to lose the happiness that I think I deserve years ago? Why do I always feel like the last person out? 



I would like to believe that out there exists a parallel universe wherein we all have our counterparts. Though I don’t have any scientific basis to prove my point (I don’t think there’s any), I just like the idea that maybe someone out there is also thinking of me and perhaps debating about my existence. Maybe in that universe, we all have found the right person for us and that maybe we’re already living the big dream that we’ve all wanted in this universe. Whatever exists in that universe, will soon exist in our world. The world is slowly conspiring for the right time and right place for us to meet the right person. The people whom we are bound to share our future and live our biggest dreams with. I believe kismet has its way of letting people meet. Though it sounds a little demented, I believe that whatever hopes I have for my future is partially influenced by my what is happening in a parallel universe.  

The world is full of wonders. And even with the advent of technology, I know that there are still things that cannot be explained by science. But even if it’s not explainable by any rational thinking, I still believe that the parallel universe exists. Perhaps not in the bigger picture, but in my heart. And I find comfort into thinking that I have this little world of mine where everything is better and anything is possible. It may sound a little twisted, but the world is already twisted on its own and yet we still live in it.

"Because when you finally meet the one, you stop asking “Why” and you just do everything because you know someone is there to catch you."
— Uncategorized