This one’s a line from the movie we watched yesterday, The Art of Getting By. I don’t want to spoil the story (in case you haven’t watch it yet) so I’ll just focus on this line by Sally Howe. Looking at a boy-girl friendship.
Perhaps everyone of us has that one friend whom we can completely trust and be comfortable with. Someone we can talk to about anything, be it personal issues or just normal chit chats. Someone who accepts us, despite our many imperfections. Someone who understands us in every way possible. Someone who will stay with us, even when our actions seem like driving them away. And someone who we can call “REAL Friend”.
We might not have lots of them, but having just one real friend is enough. They’re genuine people, and seldom do we find another one like them. I’ve read a quote before saying “True Friends are like diamonds, precious and rare” and I guess that speaks a lot about friends. Anyone can have acquaintances, colleagues, or friends, but not all can have TRUE Friends. They are that important.
But not everything in this world is permanent right? Things come up and sometimes our relationships with these special people in our lives are stained. We lose control of our emotions and this causes us to lose the important people too. There are many reasons why we lose our true friends. But I’d just focus on this one, because it’s related to the movie.
I guess we’re not new to the idea of falling in love. Thing is, when you fall for someone, anyone, you just feel it. But when it’s for a person you are close with, your true friend, best friend, close friend or whatever you call it, you do your best to avoid it. You deny the feelings because you don’t want to ruin your relationship with that person. And I can’t blame you for that. Sometimes it’s hard to have a romantic relationship with a friend because you’re risking your friendship. I’ve been in that situation and I tell you the risk is not worth it.
You might agree or disagree with me, but i stand for what I said. Romantic relationships are complicated, and the good thing about having a true friend is that when your relationship with that special someone falls, you still have good friends who would cheer you up. But that wouldn’t be the case if you have a relationship with your friend right?
And I’m not saying that Friends don’t fight each other. But unlike couples, friends eventually settle issues faster than them. I don’t think any romantic relationship can equal a genuine friendship. That’s why I won’t sacrifice friendship for petty feelings. Especially if those feelings are just temporary. You know, our emotions can be heightened by abrupt events. Just because you feel something, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s love(the romantic one).
Relationships come and go, but true friends stay.
Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not saying that falling for a friend, or having a relationship with one is wrong. It’s not. But I’m telling you it would be hard. And when things go wrong or when they go the other way, You can’t simply put things back to how it used to be. Truth is, you can’t bring back your old relationship with that person. If you’re unlucky you would just be strangers or acquaintances. But if not, you would have a relationship that’s a lot stronger than the one before. I just wish you have the latter one.
I know I’m not the smartest, but I’m definitely not dumb. And if there’s one thing I want to do, that is to look out for myself so that I don’t get hurt. I don’t want to experience the same thing that has caused me pain. Who would even want that? Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why I over think and I always end up having presumptions. It’s difficult, you know? Like every time you’d like to try something new and give something or someone a shot you’ll always compare the experience to something you’ve once felt and you’d compare it to the road you’ve once walked in and then you’ll just back out. You’ll back out because you know how things will go and how it would end. People say that I’m one of the bravest people that they have ever met, but i’d like to think otherwise. I’m not saying it because of self-pity, I’m saying it because I really think, that in most aspects, i’m one of the most cowardly people ever to have existed on earth. And in order to secure myself from the dangers of the world, I’ll just stay here and avoid the things that would often lead me to the same heartbreak I’ve experienced a few years back. Sure I can manage other things, but when we talk about things like these, I’d rather stay in my comfort zone. I’ll stay here until someone can finally convince me it’s okay to try something new. Until someone can also look out for me.
It may seem pretty random. But 2013 is about to end. And instead of thanking everyone who made this year amazing, I think I’ll thank those who hurt me first. Thank you to everyone who have caused me harm and brought troubles in my life. I learned a lot and it’s time to let all the hard feelings go.
Someone once told me that a leader’s best trait is “empathy”. It is the ability to recognize emotions that are being experienced by another. Just like putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Putting yourself in the place of your people or your colleagues. I always held on to the fact that though I can lead people, or convince people, empathizing with them is far more different. And even though it’s difficult to understand the diverse thoughts, opinion and situation of all, I just try to process things as if I was the one in their place. I may not like it that much, but it feels a little lighter on my part.
There are cases when I just want people to think it over and perhaps put their lives in my situation. I always tried my best to understand where they are coming from. But I just want them, for once, to consider what I felt. I want them to consider how hard it is to bend for others and work hard to make ends meet. I want people to empathize with me. Because to be honest, it’s tough being the strong one. It’s tough being the “understanding” one. It’s tough being the person in charge. It’s tough being me. Many times I consider giving up. I know you guys have seen a lot of episodes of me having these dramas. But I believe it all boils down to the feeling of being weak. I too have my weaknesses. And though I may try to be as open-minded as possible, I still have my own principles and thoughts. I don’t think I can do it all the time.
I do. And despite wanting to break down and give up and leave everyone behind, I stay and I continue to fight. I would like to empathize with everyone who’s having a hard time making up their mind or fighting their battles. Although I know you can solve all your problems and fight all the demons, I know that you can’t do it all just because I told you so. And though I don’t like what you said to me, I would like to think that you’re just having a hard time just as I was having a hard time that day. And though it’s not healthy trying to adjust for everyone’s sake, I think it’s part of being a leader. I think you should think of the others before yourself. Well, I know the limitations of such actions and the situations where “empathy” is not applicable. But i don’t think I am there yet. So until then, I’ll try to be as open minded as possible. And just work on getting better.
A few days has already passed but the lessons and memories that I got from the Padayon Mindanao Youth Leadership Camp still remains. The fire of leadership is still burning and the eagerness to serve the community is still there. And it keeps on getting bigger.
The Padayon (meaning to continue) Mindanao YLC was spearheaded by the US Peace Corps and USAid in partnership with the LGU of Legazpi, DepEd, and DSWD (Not sure if I mentioned all the organizations already. Oh well). This was a youth camp held at Hotel Venezia from Nov. 3-10, 2013. I personally enjoyed the youth camp because it was a new experience for me. It was very memorable. Aside from the fact that our University made a banner congratulating Kuya Macky and I for being chosen as participants (which I found really funny by the way), this camp was special because I got to mingle with different people. Some older than me, some younger. But all are eager learners.
Whenever I feel down, I just think of all the people who believed and continuously believes in me. I don’t want to disappoint them. I don’t want people to look down on me and see a poor little girl who have reached failure. Pity is not something I easily take from people. But aside from that, I don’t want to disappoint myself. I have set the bars high for the things I want to achieve. And though people can try to discourage me, I have learned that nothing can ever affect me as long as I decide not to let it affect me at all. The mind can be honed in a way that you decide what to believe in, and what to disregard. And the heart can tell you when to fight for things, and when to concede the battle. As of now, I can see a lot of reasons for me to just let go and free myself of all the responsibilities that I am currently handling. But I chose to look away from all these and just focus on the one thing that kept me going throughout all my hardships: my goals. I need to focus on the goal. Though people are starting to become annoying, I’d rather use my time thinking of sensible things. Hating them would do me no good. Perhaps I can rant about it once in awhile, but then 60 seconds of complaining about the shortcomings of other people is a minute of wisdom that could have been shared with people who are more worthy of my time. I just need to focus. FOCUS.
Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako or malulungkot ako ng marinig ko yun. I mean when it comes to relationships, I don’t think I’m independent at all. I act strong, I act like I can carry myself with ease but truth is, I am really sheltered. And beneath that, is a weak person. Weaker than you think. I don’t know if it’s a gift, my skills in pretending to be independent, but I don’t want people to get used to that idea of me. Ayokong dumating yung araw na wala ng mag attempt na lumapit saakin kasi iisipin nila kaya ko na. It has always been like that. Perhaps, it’s my fault for driving people away. But what can I do? I can’t afford to get hurt just because of stupid relationships. I’m far too busy and preoccupied to think of petty issues like love and relationships. Sorry, but that’s how I see relationships (yung para sa ngayon.) I think they are distractions. But it’s funny, kasi kahit ganoon, I always end up losing. Even if I avoid people who are very much persistent in breaking through my walls, I always end up losing. Maybe that’s how my life would be. I will always lose. Because I suck at being strong and independent. And I’m too much of a coward to even accept that in public. Hahaha. Fact: Kahit na isulat ko to, my mind and concept about love and other stuff would not change. As is pa din, distraction pa din. Hindi pa din mababago pakikitungo ko sa iba, I would still be aloof. Kahit alam kong ako ang natalo, walang mababago. Kasi ganun ako. Matigas ang ulo.