This one’s a line from the movie we watched yesterday, The Art of Getting By. I don’t want to spoil the story (in case you haven’t watch it yet) so I’ll just focus on this line by Sally Howe. Looking at a boy-girl friendship.
Perhaps everyone of us has that one friend whom we can completely trust and be comfortable with. Someone we can talk to about anything, be it personal issues or just normal chit chats. Someone who accepts us, despite our many imperfections. Someone who understands us in every way possible. Someone who will stay with us, even when our actions seem like driving them away. And someone who we can call “REAL Friend”.
We might not have lots of them, but having just one real friend is enough. They’re genuine people, and seldom do we find another one like them. I’ve read a quote before saying “True Friends are like diamonds, precious and rare” and I guess that speaks a lot about friends. Anyone can have acquaintances, colleagues, or friends, but not all can have TRUE Friends. They are that important.
But not everything in this world is permanent right? Things come up and sometimes our relationships with these special people in our lives are stained. We lose control of our emotions and this causes us to lose the important people too. There are many reasons why we lose our true friends. But I’d just focus on this one, because it’s related to the movie.
I guess we’re not new to the idea of falling in love. Thing is, when you fall for someone, anyone, you just feel it. But when it’s for a person you are close with, your true friend, best friend, close friend or whatever you call it, you do your best to avoid it. You deny the feelings because you don’t want to ruin your relationship with that person. And I can’t blame you for that. Sometimes it’s hard to have a romantic relationship with a friend because you’re risking your friendship. I’ve been in that situation and I tell you the risk is not worth it.
You might agree or disagree with me, but i stand for what I said. Romantic relationships are complicated, and the good thing about having a true friend is that when your relationship with that special someone falls, you still have good friends who would cheer you up. But that wouldn’t be the case if you have a relationship with your friend right?
And I’m not saying that Friends don’t fight each other. But unlike couples, friends eventually settle issues faster than them. I don’t think any romantic relationship can equal a genuine friendship. That’s why I won’t sacrifice friendship for petty feelings. Especially if those feelings are just temporary. You know, our emotions can be heightened by abrupt events. Just because you feel something, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s love(the romantic one).
Relationships come and go, but true friends stay.
Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not saying that falling for a friend, or having a relationship with one is wrong. It’s not. But I’m telling you it would be hard. And when things go wrong or when they go the other way, You can’t simply put things back to how it used to be. Truth is, you can’t bring back your old relationship with that person. If you’re unlucky you would just be strangers or acquaintances. But if not, you would have a relationship that’s a lot stronger than the one before. I just wish you have the latter one.
This article was published in Definitely Filipino: http://definitelyfilipino.com/blog/2012/05/08/just-friends/