I don’t like giving people that much power over me. That’s why I don’t’ want to attach myself that much because when I do, I always end up feeling vulnerable. And I don’t want people to see that side of me.


I will always be that friend who’s good at giving advice but is not capable of following it. We have heard stories about people like me, but no one fully understood, why people like me existed. Maybe you really can’t have everything. Maybe the gift of wisdom is not something you take on your own, but something you share with others. And that wisdom can only be retrieved from one’s personal experiences that’s why people like me always have the hardest downfall. People like me always get the worst seed. Sometimes I ask myself, is it fair that I am clueless with how to deal with my personal life when in fact, I had answers and solutions to the problems of other people? Why is that? I believe that what I have is a gift. And it delights me whenever people learn from the things that I say. Or when I make things easier for the people I care for. But there are times, and God were they many, when all I wanted was to give advice to myself. All I wanted was to solve my problems. And be there for myself. Just like how I was there for others.

Thoughts of a lady who just turned eighteen.

Last October 20, I got to celebrate my eighteenth birthday. It was just a simple celebration. I invited friends for dinner at our house and we just played around and talked. It was a short breather for the USC since we have an upcoming event this week and it was also a mini reunion for my high school friends and the Team Bananas (our team who went to Korea last July) who have been very much busy with their own lives and problems in their respective colleges.

Super friends! :) Team BANANA, USC and my high school friends. <3

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Life has not always been easy, but I managed to survive. And with that, I am happy.

My name is Iny M. Montallana. I’m 17 years old. I don’t know what my name means but some people relate it to the Chinese words for “I love You” which is Wo Ai Ni. I have an older sister who just recently passed the Nursing Board exam. My Dad is an OFW working in America. My Mom, on the other hand, is a teacher and also a registered nurse. It may sound like the normal family of four, but we are nowhere near the word normal. I don’t mean it in a negative way. I just think normal would really be inappropriate to describe this family that I have. You may say unique, but that would be underrated. Maybe we’re just a contemporary family. Just a little between happy and dysfunctional. 

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The world has gone forward and here I am stuck in my own shell. Sometimes I think of keeping my circle small. Like being friends with a few people and just forget about everyone else. I wonder what kind of world that would be. I think it would be easier. Because it’s really hard to meet people who would make a huge impact in your life and then they will suddenly leave you for reasons that you can no longer control. I’m not good at saying good bye. I’m not good at moving forward. I have separation issues. That’s why I don’t want to be too attached to people because when people leave, it would hurt. When people say good bye, it would hurt. When they move forward, it would hurt. Everything will hurt and the sad part is I would be hurting alone. ~

The art of dealing with pain.

Of the billions and millions of people roaming around this planet that we call Earth, there would be a lot of people who would try to tear you apart. They will break you and crush you and torment you for all they care. You will get hurt, and you will feel pain- a great amount of pain from people who may or may not matter that much. Selfish people exist, and yes, we do not live in a perfect world.

If it hasn’t sunk in to you yet or you just want to get a repeated dose of reality, then here: WE ARE ALL DOOMED TO LIVE A LIFE OF NEVER ENDING TRIALS AND DEVASTATING CHANGES BECAUSE THE WORLD IS IMPERFECT AND IT’S DEFINITELY NOT FAIR. The world is filled with cruel people. Crueler than you could ever imagine. And in the billions existing, only a thousand would comprise the ones who want to bring you down.

But do you really think they’re important? Do you think every single person of the one thousand people would really be able to inflict that much pain to you? And do you really think you would carry that same amount of pain forever?


I don’t think so. Because in that one thousand, only a hundred or may be a fewer would matter. And only a few would last for a reasonable amount of time.

Pain is inevitable. It’s all around us. Just like what I’ve said, the world is an imperfect place. But then again, we get to choose who inflicts the greatest pain in our lives. If a stranger calls you ugly, you will not bother that much. But if someone special tells you that, for sure, you will feel heartbroken. Same scenario, different people, different degree of pain. Because if someone really does matter, then we would really be affected by what they say or do. 

Truth betold: We have a say on who can hurt us and who would hurt us more. 

The world is an imperfect place filled with imperfect people creating imperfect scenarios just to give someone an imperfect life. And that’s enough reason for you to fall apart. But then we are the masters of our life. And we get to have a say on who matters and who doesn’t. If those imperfect people are causing you unreasonable pain, then leave them.

Someone who recently got his heart broken asked me, “Until when will I feel this pain, when will i stop crying?”

My answer was simple: Until you tell yourself to suck it up and carry on. 

You can never stop people from hurting you. And you can never stop yourself from feeling the pain that you’re supposed to feel. But you can always choose who would hurt you and until when you would feel hurt. Because we are the masters of our lives, and we have the power to choose the things that would count.

Despite the world’s imperfections, there would still be those who are happy inhabiting it. Despite the many trials one encounters, there would still be those who would rise up to be as glorious and triumphant. Yes, You can argue that they might be happy people by nature or they were born strong and destined to be great.

But I say, they have just mastered the art of dealing with pain.

I don’t believe in.

Here are the things, mostly cliche, that I don’t believe in and that has left me wondering why they even exist. 

  • I don’t believe in love at first sight.
    ove goes beyond the physical appearances of people. You could be attracted to someone without falling in love with him/her. But you can always love someone without completely being attracted to him/her.  I think people should love with their hearts, not with their eyes. Because our eyes can deceive us from time to time.
  • I don’t believe in the saying “first love never dies”
    Love is not a race on who would be the first boyfriend or girlfriend. Sometimes true love can be found somewhere in the middle even the last. But it’s not about who you’re with now or who you were with in the past, It’s about who you’re with the last. Because if the love you share is not genuine. then it wouldn’t definitely last. I fell in love once, and I’m still waiting to fall in love again. I know in my heart I have moved on and that I’m no longer infatuated with that person before. 
  • I no longer don’t believe in daysaries/monthsaries/special love holidays.
    Yes, once upon a time in my life I did celebrate monthsaries with my special someone but if I could just take it back I would because  that was so childish. Love should not be measured by the days you spend together, it’s measured by the things that you have shared. Counting the days that you’re together is like having a countdown of you’re relationship. Like waiting for a time bomb to explode, like waiting for a deadline- an expiration date. People should just let Love work on its magic and savor the moments that they are together. Besides, love doesn’t require a specific date for you to show someone how you feel.  
  • I don’t believe in Valentine’s.
    This is quite debatable since I do celebrate Valentine’s with people I love. My friends to be specific. But still, I think giving out flowers, chocolates and stuffed toys on Valentine’s is just an excuse people use to spend some money and gain “pogi points” for the ladies.  Others just celebrate it because everyone else does. I mean, if you have genuine love for someone, then show them you love them on an ordinary day. Valentine’s is not a holiday for couples to celebrate and single people to curse. In fact, it’s not even a holiday,for me it’s just another normal day.
  • I don’t believe in soul mates.
    There’s no such thing as a perfect match. There will come a time that you would love someone whom you would disagree and fight with. You would be dysfunctional together- but that’s okay. You would love each other still. Because that’s true love. We keep on picturing our soul mates thinking that they are like this and that, that you will be doing this and that. But I think the more we think of our soul mates the lesser our chances of finding them. There is no perfect match for us, just the right person.
  • I don’t believe in “forever”.
    I explained it here before. Forever is not a promise we make.It is something we act on everyday. That is why I don’t believe people who claim to love someone forever because it has infinite possibilities. And in that infinity, problems and break ups will eventually arise. Every day should be considered as a forever for the both of you. 
  • I don’t believe in SWEET words and promises.
    "I will wait for you." "I’ll love you forever" "You will always be the one" — Obviously these statements have been abused for quite some time now. Yes it may sound nice but i’ve heard it before and no one stood by what they said so I don’t believe in it anymore. Not to sound bitter or anything, but it would be better if people just did it instead of just promising anything.

But if there’s something I believe in, it would be LOVE. Genuine love. I don’t believe in the things stated above because for me, those are just add-ons. They do not give meaning to love. They do not give justice to love. It just complicates the true essence of love. Love is supposed to be a great thing yet people throw it away like it’s nothing. Love in its simplest form can be found in the simple actions one makes. It does not require grand romantic gestures. It does not require a formula to make it work. It does not require standards or physical abilities. It only requires a sincere heart. A heart that will do, not a heart that will say. Because we love with actions, not with words. A lot of people forget that. They attach different things to love- dates, standards, flowers, promises, chocolates etc. but love is not felt with the day you spend or the things you receive, It is felt with the sincerity in your actions. 

Some people are wondering why it’s so hard for me to open my heart to someone new. I guess, you can find the answers here. I am not opening my heart to anyone right now because no one has shown me true love yet. If I would love again, I want it to be someone who has understood me and my idea of love. Because I love love. And I don’t want anyone to mess it up for me.

( 10 ) 1 year ago - Reblog  #dance  #love  #relationships  #people  #music  #you
Forever is not a promise that you should make, it&#8217;s something you act on. We keep on blaming circumstances for broken promises of forever, but we seldom think of our own shortcomings. We didn&#8217;t make our forever work, that&#8217;s why it ended. Forever is happening right now. And if people will try harder, it can definitely last long. It could definitely take eternity. 

Forever is not a promise that you should make, it’s something you act on. We keep on blaming circumstances for broken promises of forever, but we seldom think of our own shortcomings. We didn’t make our forever work, that’s why it ended. Forever is happening right now. And if people will try harder, it can definitely last long. It could definitely take eternity.